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I'm not going to comment on the internals, because I don't
know enough about them to make a positive comment, but it
seems to me that your statement of:

..."just makes Python seem ... lame."

is insulting to those who have helped to develop Python over
the years.  In my experience attempting to help, the surest
way of not getting what you want is to insult those who have
developed Python (nevermind that according to the lack of
bugs on the topic, very few people want/need the
functionality you expect).