> Regarding the proposed syntax:

> if (f() == 'spam') -> name:
>   newname = name.replace('p', 'h') 

> Surely that should assign the *bool* result of comparing f() 
> with 'spam' to name? Doing anything else is opening the door to a 
> world of pain.

You are correct. It does assign the result of the bool. I have
made an error in creating the example. This is what happens when
I copy and paste and don't check the result.

should read

 if f -> name:
   # use name, (pointless example but in line with the OP's suggestion)

Thanks for picking this up.